Today's my Deviant Birthday, as in, the day I first joined DA /)//w//(\
Awh, it feels like a long time has passed, even though other people are here way longer.
DA is a big part of my life, and it's the site I spend most time on. It's the site I keep in touch with most of people too. It really means a lot to me. It feels like home.
I really miss a lot of people who I met here, but for one reason or another they just left, or can't be on here as much as they used to. While I understand, it still feels sad, but I can't help it. We're getting older, and busy.
I also didn't had haters or art thieves for 7 years, it's just that at the end of last year, and this year, there was some strife and thievery involved, which I think is actually a bit impressive, that I wasn't targetted for so long. Maybe, I dunno. It has actually to do a lot with commissions, then fandoms, and lastly the questions I ask sometimes, which I all did/started last year. And my mental stability that has been pushed a lot too, so yeah. But as much as it hurts, it makes me stronger and immune. Life's not all roses and love.
I have changed a lot since I first joined, and I am happy for that, because it was for the better. I have found my boyfriend here, and best friends, that are here for me when life kicks my ass. I feel comfortable around them and more open. I discover new things, and the best thing of all, I don't feel alienated like I am in real. I can talk about OC's, series, games as much as I want, and no one says it's weird.
Nobody gives me a weird look when I talk about the stories I create, and people encourage me to work hard on them too.
There's times I feel like I am a failure, and that I am a bad artist, well I can't help it. It's something that comes suddenly, and goes for few days to come back again, repeating and repeating. So, sometimes I just may seem like an attention whore, but in reality, I just really need to be reassured a lot, that I am important and valid. But don't we all?
I also try my best to be of some help to you all, and I hope I am. I gathered some experience, and I ponder on things a lot before I give advices. So don't be afrad to talk to me, just remember to be polite.
Do I plan some changes?
Yeah well, I may stop asking things in the public. Not just because my premium expired and I can't post polls, but because... hmm, people don't always know how to help, and they accidentally piss me off. It's mostly because they misunderstand what I meant, or they just don't understand the question at all.
I may also stop asking people what they wish to see more in my gallery. Like, if they want to see more colored art, or more OC's, more fanart etc. Whenever I listen to what they say, it doesn't really go well. It's kinda funny when they say "yeah post more colored works" and when I do, they don't bother to look at them. So what's the point?
Well it's my gallery, so I should manage it on my own. That means I should really care more for what I feel like drawing, instead of pleasing the public. But that's really hard to do
I'm trying to draw each day, and that's why I decided to do the 100 theme challenge, which I put up to 200.
So you can sorta expect what to see, and still be surprised XD
I also wish to post more homosexual pairings on this account. I was really scared to upset the people who watch me with that decision (and that's mostly why my other +18 account was born), but then again, why would I want to have people around me that don't enjoy what I enjoy? It's like sitting at the table during a family gathering and just talk about things that they want to hear, surprassing the urge to tell something I enjoy, afraid that I will be rejected. But now I changed my mindset, and if some of the watchers will feel uncomfortable with gay pairings, they're free to leave =w= It's ok, we have different tastes, and I rather attract watchers that have similar tastes =w=
It's really hard to break free from all those habits I have, but I am working on it, I really do.
I hope to stay on DA for as long as possible, and share my ideas and art, because that's what I love to do everyday.
Do I have any wishes?
Well, yes, I actually really really wish to see cosplayers of my OC's oneday
Cosplayers are my weakness, ah...
But to achieve that I need to work hard to complete at least one series, that people will love so much they would want to express it in the form of an accurate costume. So I will do my best with my comics, I promise.
Wow that's a long journal XP